Feeling Funkey @ RabbitNET

Intro

U.B. Funkeys was a toys-to-life video game by Mattel, developed by Radica Games, that was active from 2007 to 2010. Players would purchase a large "hub" Funkey, which plugged into the user's PC via USB, and several small Funkeys, which would sit on top of the hub. They could then play as those Funkeys in game.

Each Funkey unlocks a new minigame, which reward players with coins and unique pieces of furniture. Coins can be used to purchase furniture for the user's crib. Playing the games enough will unlock shards, which form together to make gems, which progresses the game's storyline.

Gameplay

The gameplay of U.B. Funkeys is basically bottom of the barrel flash games. It's Cool Math Games, except you have a home to decorate and some genuinely bonkers worlds to explore.

Not so long ago, I was working on actually completing U.B. Funkeys' storyline, but unfortunately I lost my savefile when my PC exploded in 2025. I may return to that quest one day, but it's unlikely. It's not the gameplay is unplayable (I was quite enjoying it, actually!), it's just kind of soul destroying to have to start it again from scratch.

Other "gameplay mechanics" involve your Funkey getting stinky, so you have to bathe it. If you're too stinky, you can't play games. I don't know why this is a mechanic other than to convince kids to practice good hygiene.

Also, sometimes you get robbed by henchmen and it's so scary. The sound effect still activates my flight or fight response to this day.

Some of U.B. Funkeys' Bonkers World Design

I don't know what the intended vibe is of U.B. Funkeys is. Like, I cannot begin to fathom what the original pitch said or what the concept artists had on their moodboard.

It is aesthetically unlike anything else, and each expansion pack world has its own completely unique vibe. The most memorable realm is probably Nightmare Rift, which includes junkyards of giant robots next to a body horror flesh desert. Honestly, a lot of U.B. Funkeys feels kind of scary.

To the left and below, you can see some of the marketing which took the aesthetic form of Soviet propaganda posters, because of course it did.

My Crib

My Crib (as of 17/08/23)

As you can see, the bizarre aesthetic applies to the furniture too. Unfortunately, the explosion of my old drive took this save file with it, so I can never return to this crib ever again.

My Current Collection

Although I would love to have a larger collection, I don't intend to buy any more Funkeys than I currently own. Nine of the my current Funkeys were owned by me as a child, with the Funkiki Island Adventure Pack (the Dorito shaped dudes) being the only Funkeys I've purchased as an adult. There's something kind of lovely and nostalgic about my collection being locked in time, not to mention that buying Funkeys second-hand these days is a bit of a nightmare. It's easy to run into inflated prices or bulk sales of Funkeys which include several repeats. Not great if you want a varied collection.

That said, U.B. Funkeys are still fun to collect, despite the game servers being shut down. This is for two major reasons: They're robust, unique art toys (they are made of vinyl and have minor articulation in their heads) and they each come in three different colour variations (common, rare and ulra rare). You can see that I was lucky enough to get a rare Berger as a kid! That was maybe one of the best days of my life.

My Holy Grail

Feast your eyes on the greatest speakers invented by man.

I have no doubt that the audio quality is hot garbage from these bad boys, but I would absolutely use them regardless. They're designed to look like Scratch, a DJ Funkey, and even light up when in use

Getting specific Funkeys online is hard (and expensive) enough, so you can imagine how rare Funkey accessories like these are.

Unreleased Funkeys

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS FUNKEY?

Name: iFunk

U.B. Funkeys was cancelled in 2010, with the servers anti-climactically closing in January of 2011. The final realm was added in 2009, Paradox Green. Paradox Green, like every realm, came with a whole series of new Funkeys to collect. I remember eagerly awaiting Paradox Green's release, but they ended up being some of the rarest Funkeys to find. One Funkey from this era would never arrive on store shelves.

The iFunk was part of the Funkey Tools update. It's purpose was to allow you to change the in-game music to whatever .MP3 files you had on your PC.

Even though the Funkey Tools update never materialised, it did get a commercial. The iFunk section of this commercial became a minor meme on Tumblr with people mishearing the line "change the game music" as "change the gay music".

HAVE YOU SEEN THESE FUNKEYS?

Name: DC Funkeys

A full DC expansion pack was shown off during SDCC 2008 and the Consumer Electronics Show 2009. The set included Superman (who looks very cute imo), Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, and the Joker. Unfortunately (and annoyingly), it was set to release mere weeks after U.B. Funkeys died. Most interestingly, the display at the Consumer Electronics Show even featured a Joker Funkey in completed packaging!

Much like the iFunk, these Funkeys would also appear in a commercial, although this commercial is maybe one of the worst I've ever seen.

If any unreleased Funkeys are likely to pop up in auctions, it'll be these ones.

HAVE YOU SEEN THESE HENCHMEN?

Name: Daydream Oasis Adventure Pack

Here, you can see Goya and Dali from the Dream State expansion. These characters are the henchmen-equivalent for the Dream State realm. If you squint, at the back you can see Marshall, the in-game guide for the Dream State expansion. Interestingly, he has an alternate white version, perhaps implying these adventure packs would have had a rarity system like regular Funkeys (that's not how any other adventure pack works).

HAVE YOU SEEN THESE FUNKEYS?

Name: Hidden Realm Adventure Pack

To the left you can see Kane and King Sidd from the Hidden Realm expansion. Interestingly, the Hidden Realm is the only realm that can be accessed by any Funkey in-game, while the others require a Funkey from that particular series. However, progression in the Hidden Realm is locked behind the total number of Funkeys the user owns, with the final area requiring ten total Funkeys.

Make Your Own!

Here's an official template to design your Funkeysona! This was originally hosted on the official U.B. Funkeys site, before it's closure.

Click the image to open it in a new tab, and download at full resolution.

(stamps by me)